….. And we're back. Love day and month of 2020 have come and gone but I couldn't let the occasion go by without spilling a little tea about my adventures with love for y’all.
*I suggest looking at last year's valentine's day post to get the whole picture.*
Some updated cringe stories for you guys to laugh at will start off this post.
Boy #1: I was in a serious relationship with a guy I've known and loved in friendship and then in a relationship, for a great deal of high school. He was watching me compete at Miss Arkansas’ Outstanding Teen from his house on TV. He watched me win the overall interview and then be named the fourth runner up. While I was excited to win those awards I was way more disappointed about not winning the crown than I was happy about those two awards. So needless to say I was sad when I left the pageant. This boy calls me and says “I laughed at your expression when you won interview”. Soooo while I was heartbroken over my dream being crushed while half of Arkansas is watching, the first thing my BOYFRIEND wanted to comfort me with was that he thought it was funny. :/ So I bet y'all can guess how much longer that relationship lasted.
Boy #2: I was totally falling for one of my best friends and I knew we both flirted with each other and that we both made each other smile a lot but I wasn't 100% sure that he liked me romantically the way I was starting to like him. So, me being unsure and curious, texts one of his best friends. I asked the friend something a little like this “ hey so I like ____ and I kinda think he likes me back, but I also think I could just be a bro to him, so give me your opinion” because I wanted it to be casual. Thinking, the friend is casually gonna give me his personal opinion on it I go on about my business when I get a message from the said boy I have a major crush on. It reads “ you know you’re not a bro right”. * insert most embarrassed face ever* I proceeded to wanna kill the friend for being an absolute goober and spilling my tea but was also just excited to know I wasn’t a bro while equally mortified that that’s what would classify the movement of our relationship. Needless to say, the term “bro” will never sound the same to me again.
Now I'll answer some questions y’all asked :)
What do you look for:
I’ll start by saying I’m not gonna date anyone unless I could see myself with them for the foreseeable future. So when I’m thinking about who I wanna spend the future surrounded by I look for a handful of key things. 1) Laughter, I wanna laugh, so finding someone who makes me laugh often is really important. 2) Support, I’m a big dreamer so I have to have someone who understands that I dream big and that’s ready to hype me up as I work to reach them. Some boys think they should be the center of your world, but I’m not about that life. I wanna thrive on my own and will love someone who wants the same thing for me. 3) Heart, I’m an enneagram 3 so I wake up ready to change the world. I look for guys who see the world and want to add good to it. 4) Friends + Family, whoever you date is gonna be one of your best friends and they will probably become like family. So the relationship a guy has with his friends and family says a lot about what you could expect in the future of your relationship. 5) Intentionality, life is short. I believe every day should be taken advantage of. I wanna be with someone who is intentional with me every day in our relationship and in life.
Dating Advice:
Mostly I recommend looking for guys who meet your standards. So for me, looking for guys who have those 5 qualities I mentioned earlier. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be open-minded though. You never know who is gonna have those qualities so give people a chance to show you themselves. Remember that you don’t owe anyone anything. Be kind, be honest, be intentional, but know that it’s your heart that you need to watch out for. love lots! I’m a firm believer that you’ll never regret what you do in love. So live and love, just be yourself and remember God will lead you as you go.
Advice for getting over your ex:
In general, this is a hard question because every relationship is different so getting over them is gonna be different for everyone. For me, because I have an achiever and a helper personality type (enneagram 3 w 2), it’s about making new goals, volunteering my time, and dreaming up new dreams to reset my focus on. Remind yourself that there was good in what you had, but there was also bad, otherwise, they wouldn’t be your ex. Trust that that particular chapter of your life is closed for a reason and start praying for whatever is next. You don’t need a boy or a relationship to have a fulfilled life, but I understand that it’s natural to want one. So until you find one worth investing your time and heart in, invest in yourself and prepare your heart for whoever God has planned next to be loved by you. Most of all have fun, keep living your best life, making memories, and figuring out who you are. The rest will come naturally as life moves and changes.
Why I talk about my personal relationships:
A lot of people wonder why I talk about/share personal experiences/perspectives on relationships and love. Here’s why we all go through it. Literally, everyone has had a crush, best friend they fall for, first love, first heartbreak, etc. Since relationships are very personal, people often don’t like to talk about the ugly stuff or the embarrassing stuff that happens sometimes in them. But I realize for every story I tell you, you probably have five or six stories just like them and if me talking about my experiences makes you more comfortable with yours then I’ve done my job right. I pledge to be unapologetically authentic and a part of that is telling you the personal stuff like love. With that being said, I’m never gonna talk about details of an active relationship because that's for me to experience and for me to share if or when it’s appropriate. So you may never know, if I’m in a relationship or if I’m flying solo because I do respect the privacy of relationships and will never disregard that. I’m an open book about pretty much everything, including the chapters of glorious teenage love which I’ve shared with you here.
XoXo,
Brooke <3
